Persevering

The warmth and calmness of the perfect morning did not capture in me the peace it usually does. Instead it inspired my children to dispense of their church clothes so they might scurry through the child-handled sprinklers in the few remaining minutes before it was time to go to church. Children don’t sleep in as they ought on a Sunday morning and I even overheard Klark tell Lanse to “wait and do it when dad leaves for his meetings.” Do what, you might ask? Sword fight with straws, naturally. Saturday is rightfully a day to get ready for Sunday but the work load is overwhelming and there is far too much of it to ever be ready for a Sunday. I need a week of Saturdays each week. My children expect cold cereal on Sunday mornings (oatmeal on a most regular basis makes the cold cereal ever so desirable), even on those mornings when there is not any available. Hence, the tantrums began early. Music, a word always said when pondering what could be done to adequately slow down the pace of the day, motivate good will towards men – including siblings, and encourage uplifting thoughts. Ah, but all our players are broken (why does nothing last anymore) and we don’t even have white flour necessary to make the pie crust for the promised pie for Sunday dessert. I look around me and can only see the undone work. Spring is motivating and able to free the spirit from depressing notions, yet, it doubles the work area and load. Perhaps triples. My thoughts at 11:00 am on this striking Sunday morning included, how does a parent quit when they just don’t want to do it anymore, when the work is unusually unappealing and the task at hand tiresome and overwhelming? After pondering this train of thought for a moment, I still don’t have ideas.

Our family walked though the chapel doors as 12:28 pm, not altogether, mind you, because one child was thirsty and another child was sulking because he couldn’t find his scriptures. Church begins at 12:30 regularly but this day it began at approximately 12:27 pm and we walked in to Chad’s impressive voice conducting the meeting. The overflow to our chapel is unnecessary and if you don’t want front row seats it is best to arrive early. I spotted a bench behind the deacons and aimed for it. We found scriptures on the bench. We moved and found more scriptures on the bench. We sat on the very front row. There were no scriptures on this bench but plenty of room for Della to spread out her crayons and coloring books, dance, and make quick visits to say “hi” to dad. I doubt I need to give a full account of the meetings progression but I will say that we were a fine example of irreverence, material for the Sunday School teacher who was seated on the stand in the choir and giving a lesson on reverence this day.

We were blessed to have presiding in our meetings this day, our stake president and Elder and Sister Row of the seventy, the concluding speaker being Elder Row. In his remarks he said something about Sister Larsen ‘keeping busy’ while her husband ‘relaxed on the stand.’ I shun to think of the production he witnessed – the circus we ran two feet in front of him as he prepared to present his gospel message. He also said, “Sister Larsen, persevere.” He told me to persevere.

I had pondered the idea of quitting motherhood only a few hours prior to the meeting. How more direct could the messager be? He called me by name and told me to persevere. How does one persevere? I looked up the word. It is a verb, it requires action. It means to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly. To bolster, sustain, or uphold. It is a new favorite word of mine. I must persist in the things I undertook, motherhood; I must maintain a purpose, the purpose of rearing a family in righteousness, in spite of difficulty including disobedient children, obstacles including broken CD players and no white flour; or discouragement including overwhelming work loads. I must bolster and strengthen the people in my life; sustain and carry on; and uphold, support and defend against criticism. That is how I must persevere. I think the Lord’s word would be “endure.” I must endure to the end. Thank you, Elder Row. I will do better.