Invisible Mother

Lanse and Klark with their arms around their invisible mother (just in case you couldn't tell)

by Charlotte somebody (or so I can assume)

Shared by Melissa (I prefer Missy, it it more endearing) DeHaan

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask me a question. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'Obviously, not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!


One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ... Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.


'In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'


As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Left Brain/Right Brain Test

Mark the number of each statement that you consider to be true.

1. I usually notice what time it is.

2. I would rather take a true-false, multiple choice, or matching test than an essay test.

3. I tend to forget people's names but I remember their faces.

4. I like to daydream and use my imagination.

5. I learn best by seeing and hearing.

6. I learn best by touching or doing.

7. I like assignments that are open-ended rather than structured.

8. I would rather just go do something than think it all through beforehand.

9. People think that I am creative.

10. Even though I sometimes get mad and upset, I am usually considered a rational or controlled person.

11. I don't mind taking a few risks when I think it is worth it.

12. It is easy for me to express my feelings.

13. I like to plan things out and know what's going to happen ahead of time.

14. When I want to, I can really concentrate.

15. Melodies are easy for me to remember.

16. I am good at math.

17. I can learn new vocabulary words easily.

18. I like to work with details.

19. When doing a jigsaw puzzle, I can see the whole picture easily even if I have not placed many pieces.
20. I don't mind doing something over and over until I master it.

21. I am good at giving clear and logical directions.

22. Sometimes I make decisions based on what feels right rather than thinking though all the pros and cons.

23. I can sometimes remember things by picturing where I read them on a certain page.

24. I have a daily and weekly schedule of when I do things.

Left brain characteristics include statements: 1,2,5,10, 13,14,16,17,18,20,21, and 24.

Right brain characteristics include statements: 3,4,6,7,8,9,11,12,15,19,22, and 23.

The side of the brain with the higher score is probably your dominant side. This means the characteristics of that side of the brain are more natural for you to use and that you prefer to use them. You are still very capable of using the characteristics of the non-dominant side of your brain, although, it may require more effort. It is important to remember that both sides of our brains are always working together.

Left Brain Characteristics: technical, scientific, mathematical, rational, analytical, logical, problem solving, theoretical, factual, objective, realistic, convergent, precise, formal, verbal, systematic, administrative, procedural, organized, conservative, confident, structured, disciplines, practical, predictable, detailed, controlled, dependable, planning.

Right Brain Characteristics: imaginative, intuitive, conceptual, holistic, inventive, ambiguous, original, visual, impulsive, experimental, risking, divergent, artistic, spatial, perceptive, interpersonal, emotional, empathetic, sociable, spiritual, musical, sensitive, responsive, subjective, trusting, adaptable, harmonious, idealistic, talkative.

Right Brain Conditions (as they pertain to the classroom):

Language - the teacher speaks in an emotional, animated, dramatic style. The teaching method is humorous, simple, descriptive, and positive.

Attitude - the mood is relaxed, playful, noncompetitive. Students feel they can be open to inspiration. They pat attention to surroundings. They feel free to hum, whistle, or sing.

Setting - the room is warm, attractive, casual, comfortable, and interesting. It has colorful displays. The work place is flexible and anything could happen.

Rules - the rules are unstructured guidelines that allow for personal expression, encourage openness, and allow for the expression of strong emotions.

Schedule - flexibility and spontaneity are important. Students may be allowed to lose track of time completely.

Assignment - homework involves imagination, visualization, drawing, colors, shapes, patterns, the manipulation of physical objects, or the use of the body. The assignment allows students to be original, express emotion, wonder, speculate, estimate, read between the lines, act spontaneously, rake risks, or try new things.

Left Brain Conditions (as they pertain to the classroom):

Language: words are formal, factual, and precise.

Attitude - students show minimal emotion. They are efficient, confident, and responsible. They sit up strait, maintain eye contact, and stay on task.

Setting - the room is neat, orderly, and businesslike.

Rules - the rules are structured and precise.

Schedule - punctuality and efficiency are important. Students maintain an awareness of time and time limits.

Assignment - assignments are organized and neat. The assignments deal with analysing, criticizing, or calculating information.

Squishy Hearts

My Grandma Waddoups left my children and I with a sweet tradition, one where we together bask in the simple and natural beauties of this life, and something so represented by my dear grandmother. I do not recall another person who loved to watch the birds as long as she did, who examined the leaves as closely as she did, or who looked at the clouds as often as she did. On her window in her room, Grandma Waddoups displayed what my children and I call squishies. Hers were flowers, ours are hearts. Each time we visited she would show us the colors her squishy flowers made on the floor or the walls. She found pleasure watching the colorful shapes move across the room. Now, my children and I, in turn, find pleasure each morning as we watch the squishy hearts on our windows create its shape on our floor and move across the room with the moving of the sun. We never weary of it. I am reminded each time of my dear grandmother who showed a pure love and lifes pleasures. I might have said simple pleasure but if you have ever taken the time to examine a leaf you will find it is not simple. And to think, I sometimes forget to be happy.

A Valentine Masterpiece

I love you.

I love you.

I love you divine.

Give me your bubble gum

You're sitting on mine.

by Klark Larsen

Do you love me or do you not?

You told me once but I forgot.

by Klark Larsen

Happy Valentine's Day!

Chocolate or Stawberries or, Perhaps, Chocolate Strawberries

I have several times come across the idea that children, when not altered by culture and environment, will choose the healthy option over the unhealthy every time. Is this so? In a society such as ours where candy must accompany the valentine to be worthy, a candy cane must adorn the stocking to be complete, colorful eggs must overflow with jelly beans, chocolate bunnies are commonly found in baskets, and ice cream and cake are offered on most birthday parties, is it possible to create the treat-free environment required to establish the sugar-free preference in our children? My experience would answer that this is unlikely. When we obstruct the way for candy to enter the home, are we creating a stronger desire in our children to overindulge when opportunity arises? Will they display self control when finally they reach the age where mom and dad does not choose each parcel that lands on their plate, although it is undoubtedly harder to control what enters their mouth? Again, I say this is unlikely. One article suggested we moderate moderation. What does this mean? Is this to suggest we give children candy on Holidays and special occasions only? What about that Sunday dessert which has established itself as a tradition and way to bring family together? Or perhaps it is the reward for proper behavior at church? Can we expect the same level of enjoyment as we gather around a vegetable tray? In Japan, dessert often consist of orange slices to represent a sweet life. Treats are not prevalent in the Japanese culture and neither is obesity and other health diseases.

My question is this. How can I, a mother of four young children who like candy, establish appropriate and healthy eating habits living and participating in American tradition rich in the spoils of the tongue and a society where foods represent ease of life more than health of the body? I do not have the answer. You may ask what my approach is and I will tell you. My husband and I eat healthy foods and offer our children healthy foods. When rich, fatty, sweet, and tasty foods present themselves, we indulge and we enjoy. Come what may.

Putting Your Hand in the Lords

by Lychelle Whiteley

Our bodies have been divinely created and have many marvelous capabilities and intricate parts. One such body part that has acquired significance and symbolism is the human hand. As I did some research I learned that the word hand translated into Hebrew is ‘yad’, which is also used metaphorically to mean power, strength, and might. Thus, hands signify power and strength. 1

This knowledge gives more meaning to the words of Mormon in chapter 5:23. “Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God? Know ye not that he hath all power?”
“To be in the hands of God would suggest that we are not only under His watchful care but also that we are guarded and protected by His wondrous power.” 2

When I think of Gods love for us and willingness to teach us I think it compares to the love that a parent feels for a child. It is not uncommon to be in some public place where a small child clings to their mother or father. When strangers are present or circumstances are new they knowingly search out an adults hand as a form of security. They put their trust entirely in their parent to guide and protect them.

We all need points of reference and models to follow. Though it may be less than obvious to some, I think that children provide us with one of the best examples when attempting to put our hand in the Lords.

A delightful song that little children sing so beautifully shows their desire for patience as well as their desire to learn and to serve:
“I have two little hands folded snugly and tight, They are tiny and weak yet they know what is right, During all the long hours till daylight is through, There is plenty indeed for my two hands to do.
“Kind Father I thank thee for two little hands, And ask thee to bless them till each understands That children can only be happy all day When two little hands have learned how to obey.” 3

These lyrics are so beautiful, yet I would like to add by referring to the account where the disciples came unto Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?
“And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
“And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
“And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.” 4
I love to spend time with my many nieces and nephews and over this last Christmas break I was able to play with my sister’s kids. She has four kids ages 6, 5, 2 and 1. The second oldest, Lanse, was ecstatic when, for Christmas, he received a brand new Lego set. It was an all black tumbler from batman. However, the set was much to complex for a five year-old to complete on his own, so he and his mother set out on the task together.

The set came with a packet of directions with a series of progressing diagrams. As they started collecting the legos specified to start their masterpiece, Lanse was quick to notice that the legos needed did not look like the end product at all. He said, “wait… wait… we can’t put the blue and yellow ones on… look at the picture.” The picture was indeed all black. My sister tried to explain that even though you don’t see any yellow or blue, you still have to start with these colorful legos to end up with what was demonstrated by the picture. Lanse still had a hard time with this, but after his mother asked him to trust her, he did so willingly.

I feel that we could learn from Lanse’s meekness and willingness to obey. He could not see how the steps along the way contributed to the end product, yet he was willing to submit to what the instructions directed instead of doing it his way.

God has a plan for us and wants us to return to Him, but it is impossible for us to know how the trials and challenges we face are ultimately shaping us into the end product that God wants us to be.

All of our challenges will be different and will address us individually. By putting faith in the Lord we are able to overcome challenges; which is made possible by another who was perfect enough to lead the way.

In November of 2003, Monson gave a talk in general conference titled “The Bridge Builder”. He had read a book that provided an account of Meriwether Lewis and William Clark’s journey across the North American continent to discover a route to the Pacific Ocean. He thought how different their journey would have been “if only there were modern bridges to span the gorges and raging waters.” 5

Our life here on earth can be viewed similarly. We are all travelers and explorers of mortality, and do not have the benefit of previous personal experience. We must pass through uncontrollable waters and steep cliffs in our earthly journey. President Monson shared a poem by Will Allen Dromgoole that I would like to share with you.
An old man, going a lone highway, Came at the evening, cold and gray, To a chasm, vast and deep and wide, Through which was flowing a sullen tide. The old man crossed in the twilight dim; The sullen stream had no fears for him; But he turned when safe on the other side And built a bridge to span the tide.
“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near, “You are wasting strength with building here; Your journey will end with the ending day; You never again must pass this way; You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide— Why build you the bridge at the eventide?”
The builder lifted his old gray head: “Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said, “There followeth after me today A youth whose feet must pass this way. This chasm that has been naught to me To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be. He, too, must cross in the twilight dim; Good friend, I am building the bridge for him.” 5

This poem provides a comforting message. Even more so, when I consider our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, as the architect and builder of bridges for you, me, and all mankind.
Knowing that we would be faced with dangers and difficulties Christ declared: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 5

President Monson said, “Jesus provided the Bridge of Obedience. He was an unfailing example of personal obedience as He kept the commandments of His Father.” 5 When we put our hands in the Lord, we are crossing the bridge of obedience that Christ has built for us with His very own hands.

Christ’s hands are symbolic and perfectly fit the description of power and strength. In 1973 President Monson speaks of the hand of the Christ:
“This was the determined hand which drove from the temple the money changers. This was the loving hand that blessed little children. This was the strong hand that opened deaf ears and restored vision to sightless eyes. By this hand was the leper cleansed, the lame man healed—even the dead Lazarus raised to life. With the finger of this hand there was written in the sand that message which the winds did erase but which honest hearts did retain. The hand of the carpenter. The hand of the teacher. The hand of the Christ.” 5

One of my favorite parts in hymn 193:
“I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt! Such mercy, such love, and devotion can I forget? … Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me enough to die for me! Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!”

I truly believe the words of Elder W. Craig Zwick when he said, “Every one of us needs to know that we can go on in the strength of the Lord. We can put our hand in His, and we will feel His sustaining presence lift us to heights unattainable alone.” 2

1: William Wilson, Old Testament Word Studies [1978], 205.
2: Elder W. Craig Zwick, Of the Seventy. The Lord Thy God Will Hold Thy Hand
3: Children’s Songbook, no. 272
4: Matt. 18:1–3, 5
5: President Thomas S. Monson, The Bridge Builder

My Husband, the Food Scientist

I am often asked what it is like to be married to a food scientist. Does he cook? Is he incredibly health conscious? Will he only eat certain foods, foods without preservatives and hormones? Did his education make him into a great chef? Does he invent food? I would like to take this opportunity to tell you what it is like to be married to a food scientist.

Being married to a food scientist has changed my perspective, made me a better person, and blessed my life. Because of my scientist, I am healthier, happier, and fulfilled. I will be more specific. My food scientist loves fresh fruit and vegetables, is always honest, and lets me warm my cold feet on his warm stomach. He sings the baby to sleep, irons his own shirts, and hangs pictures with precision enough to please his meticulous wife. He agrees with whichever baseboard I pick out and doesn’t even mind that it takes me so long and that I may change my mind. He works everyday to provide for his family. My food scientist plays with his children – wrestling without a shirt with the boys, dancing with the girls, bike riding, and bug hunting. He dances with me in the kitchen. He sits next to the baby at the dinner table, feeding her and giving her countless sips of water. He gets up with the baby in the night, teaches me Spanish, builds the trim in the house to match a picture from a Pottery Barn magazine, empties the garbage cans, does dinner dishes, takes a child with him where ever he goes whenever possible, and has a great set of meat thermometers.

My food scientist has always had a keen perspective, an eternal perspective, which prioritizes his time directing his energies toward his family. He doesn’t hold grudges, doesn’t get offended, never aims to offend, is kind, humble, does everything he does for the benefit of another, and assisted in the development of carbonated yogurt. He is a man of integrity, a hard worker, simple in his worldly wants, runs, and encourages me to run. He is one with nature, giving all credit to God. He doesn’t say anything when I want the more expensive broom because I like the color better, makes his own lunch if I sleep in, shares his sweatshirt, watches chick flicks, sings around the house, and avoids processed meat loaded with nitrates. He expects a kiss everyday when he gets home from work, built me flowerboxes to fit my large windows, enjoys mowing the lawn, prays, and prepares steak when I am anemic.

So, how is it being married to a food scientist? He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.